Week 25: I did it! 10%

I walked to my meeting with nerves in my tummy. I knew I'd had a fantastic week and tried really hard. I know generally I'm living my life in a much healthier way and doing all the right things. But I was thinking 'what if I put on weight? For no reason at all, the scales just go up?'.

Well, standing on the scales I leaned over just enough to see that the scales said 114 point something, and I know I'd done it, I 'd made 10%! The scales actually said 114.4. I was so excited, you'd think I'd made goal. And the lady that weighed me was excited too. I had lost a grand total of 1.5kgs. So I went and talked to my leader and told him and he said it was great and that he'd give me my award (the key ring) during the meeting, so I could say something. So then I got nervous again! hahaha

So I've now lost 13.9 kgs and already feeling a lot better. I keep thinking of the goal in sight - to be a sexy, healthy mum and in a fit enough state to get pregnant again next year. Life is so wonderful right now. My son just makes every day wonderful, and I love watching him with my husband. I can see the love between them more and more every day. I love making my son part of my exercise routine. Often lately I will put him in the baby sling and off we go, on a walking adventure. He checks on me now and then to make sure I'm still there and give me his gummy smile. And then he looks at the birds in the sky, or the sticks on the road. I'm feeling better about myself every day. I'm feeling more and more energetic and alive.

It's really hard being a slim person stuck in a fat person's body. Often I think, this isn't me, I'm not fat. I feel like I'm wearing a fat suit, that needs to be stripped off. Anyway, slowly, slowly, I will unstitch that fat suit and let it slip away, revealing a healthy slim woman underneath. I'm getting there.

Oh, here are some photos of my gorgeous boy and I the day of my nephew's christening, last weekend. Face is looking a little slimmer than earlier photos.....

Week 24: Doing It For Me and My Family

My family are my life. I need to be around for them and I need to be around for me. My husband and son make me so happy. I need to lose this weight for me and for all of us. This week I gained 300 grams. It was a wake up call to get serious. I have lost 12.4 so far, in 23 weeks. I'm doing okay, but I have a long way to go and I can see the areas in which I need to improve. I can look into my own heart and be honest about that.

My son deserves to have a fit mummy. My son deserves to not get teased for having a fat mummy when he goes to school. My son deserves a healthy example. And my husband deserves to have his sexy wife back. The one who had enough energy for all those good things in a relationship. Most of all, I deserve to feel happy and healthy. For all those reasons, things are about to change. I will be fine tuning my attention to the program and living the life that I deserve. And next week......well expect to see some big numbers. Goal for this week: 1 - 2 kgs.

Week 23 - Going for 10%

Well, I'm at the end of week 23 and I've lost 12.7 kg so far. I guess an average of half a kg a week. Not bad, but I can do better. No, no, no, I'm not putting myself down and I know I've done well but I can lose weight better than this. I've done it before.

I'd like to lose on average a kg a week. I'm not drinking enough water. I'm probably having too many snacks for my points rather than real food. But in general I've improved my habits and lifestyle a hell of a lot.

I no longer eat donuts. I no longer eat hot chips. I no longer have milk shakes. I exercise. I no longer drink soft drink. I track every single thing that passes my lips. I even tracked Christmas Day. So things have changed.

I went to the movies with some friends today, to the 'babes in arms' session of Confessions of a Shopaholic. We took our babies as it's a special session for mums. The movie was about a shopaholic obviously and it was quite sad at times to see her out of control. One of my friends commented after the movie that she was like her, only addicted to food. And I realized that's me as well, but I'm slowly dealing with that. When you stop eating to cover your feelings, the feelings come out and it can feel so raw. Suddenly you have to feel everything! And deal with everything...

Like thinking about returning to work in July four days a week, and having to put my baby boy into child care. I love him so much it hurts at times. He's my bub. He grew inside me for nine months and his heart beats right along with mine. And when he's not with me for one reason or another, I feel like I've left my right arm at home. Thinking about having to leave him to work makes me churn inside. It's these types of things that I worry about, and have to stop myself from eating when I worry. As my leader once said 'there is no answer in food'.

This week I have 100 g to lose to get my ten percent. My reward for myself will be getting my hair done next Friday. Will I do it? I'm not sure. I've gone a bit over my points this week though I've done my best to balance it out. I've also had to cut some points midweek due to ceasing to breastfeed altogether in the middle of the week. It has thrown me a bit. And I haven't exercised as much as usual. But I'm optimistic I may still have a loss. Anyway, I will post tomorrow and record how I've gone.

Wish me luck!