Good Things Come in Threes

Weeks 32 - 34

I've had three weeks of losses which confirms to me that I'm heading in the right direction. It feels good to be in control of my health and making the choices I always wanted to be capable of making for myself. Some things are becoming more natural. I'm gravitating towards more healthy foods. I'm exercising regularly, although not because I want to but because I consider it to be a vital part of my day. What drives me forward is the fact that there is no going back to that life.

I walk past Portmans and Cue when I'm out shopping and I think 'one day'. They are my favourite shops and I can't wait to fit into the clothes from there.

One of the most important themes at the moment for me is acceptance. I'm learning to accept who I am as a person, inside and out and to also have patience for the amount of time it may take me to get to goal. I average half a kg a week weight loss and even though I'd love to lose a kg a week, this isn't always possible. Even losing half a kg a week is enough to stay motivated as I see the scales going down down down.

And what's really exciting is that I've now lost 17kg! It may not be 15 or 20, one of those five kg milestones but 17...wow it's really a lot of weight.

So my weight loss is going well and I'm loving family life. My husband and I are totally in love with our 9 month old son. He is so clever and teaches us things every day. I can't believe the connection I have with him and I could never have imagined how deep my love would be for him. I'm going through the process of getting our son ready for child care at the moment and he goes to ABC once a week at the moment. That's hard and it breaks my heart to leave him, but I need to work and we want to be able to give Michael a good life. In July, I go back to work four days a week, so psychologically I'm trying to arrive at a place of acceptance right now and stop fighting against that. Sometimes I wish I could freeze time and keep losing weight while time was frozen and keep my son at this age for just a bit longer. It's true that time passes too quickly.

Week 31: Wise up Bec!

I don't know what's going on but I know I haven't been as focused this week. What does that mean? It means I've eaten crap at times when I shouldn't have eaten crap and told myself that all the exercise I was doing would 'burn it off'. The penalty? A 0.8 weight gain. New total loss? 14.8. Which is lower than the 15kg I just achieved last week. I was sad, but what can I do? I only have myself to blame. I have a sweet tooth which I'm trying to curb. The question is, when will I get sick of it enough to say, I have to leave the sugar behind? It's an addiction I'm sure. This I know without a doubt: I WILL make goal. So it's just a matter of how fast now, and also whether I'm willing to let sugar slow down my process. I spoke to my husband about having a 'sugar free two weeks'. Can I do it? I sure hope so. I guess I'm the only one who can decide my success.

Week 29: Small Loss

Well you 0.4kg is nothing to sneeze at, particularly since I've been quite unfocussed this week. I've let little things go a little, like not pointing everything like I normally do. Lucky I walked five times this week! I think the exercise is what really helps me. Not much else to say, other than, I hope for a bigger number next week and to break the 15kg loss barrier!

Week 28: And down they went...

You know that .9 I gained last week? Well the gods of weight loss success took it back again this week! I'm proud. I'm proud because:
* I lost weight over Easter - almost a whole kg!
* I still ate chocolate every day but factored it in and walked for 5 hours over the week to allow for this.
* I didn't feel deprived or sorry for myself over Easter.
* I learned it was okay to have just a little chocolate and really enjoy it, instead of scoffing it guiltily.
I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will make it to goal. There will be no quitting. It has taken me a long time to change, but now I don't want to go back to how I was. What a half life. I see poor buggers lining up for McDonalds, KFC etc in food courts, and I think , you don't know what you're missing - there is a whole world of wonderful, exciting flavours out there. Stop eating fried, tasteless crap! How things have changed...

Week 27: Put on

Yes, eating whatever you want and not exercising soon catches up with you. For me, in the form of .9 kg. This is a journey I'm on, and I'm making my fair share of mistakes, as well as learning lots too. Life shows me again and again that committment to the cause is rewarded, and when I treat my body how it should be treated, the scales go down. When I don't, well....this week has proved what happens. Anyway, a bit sad but as I always say, the minute you step on the scales your new week starts. And mine has started. Next week, those scales are going down....

Week 26: Loss of 400grams & New Bra!

So today I lost .4 which I was quite happy with, since I had gone over my points on a couple of the days, even though generally I had a good week. Next week I intend to make my 15kg total loss. Grand total this week: 14.3kgs.

Last week I had my hair done as a reward for getting my ten percent, and in photos I took of my baby boy and I, I could see the difference in my face. I just feel so much better. In my body. In my energy levels. My clothes are looser and I'm buying new ones. I'm glowing a little bit more....

Oh and today I bought the first bra I've bought since I was pregnant, since before I lost this weight. Its lovely and silky and black and lacy. Woooo hooo. It fits very well and is comfortable. And I can wear underwire now!! I'm no longer breastfeeding. Out of the maternity bras and back into nice ones!

This is a picture of my baby boy and I.... He's protesting about getting his photo taken hehe

Week 25: I did it! 10%

I walked to my meeting with nerves in my tummy. I knew I'd had a fantastic week and tried really hard. I know generally I'm living my life in a much healthier way and doing all the right things. But I was thinking 'what if I put on weight? For no reason at all, the scales just go up?'.

Well, standing on the scales I leaned over just enough to see that the scales said 114 point something, and I know I'd done it, I 'd made 10%! The scales actually said 114.4. I was so excited, you'd think I'd made goal. And the lady that weighed me was excited too. I had lost a grand total of 1.5kgs. So I went and talked to my leader and told him and he said it was great and that he'd give me my award (the key ring) during the meeting, so I could say something. So then I got nervous again! hahaha

So I've now lost 13.9 kgs and already feeling a lot better. I keep thinking of the goal in sight - to be a sexy, healthy mum and in a fit enough state to get pregnant again next year. Life is so wonderful right now. My son just makes every day wonderful, and I love watching him with my husband. I can see the love between them more and more every day. I love making my son part of my exercise routine. Often lately I will put him in the baby sling and off we go, on a walking adventure. He checks on me now and then to make sure I'm still there and give me his gummy smile. And then he looks at the birds in the sky, or the sticks on the road. I'm feeling better about myself every day. I'm feeling more and more energetic and alive.

It's really hard being a slim person stuck in a fat person's body. Often I think, this isn't me, I'm not fat. I feel like I'm wearing a fat suit, that needs to be stripped off. Anyway, slowly, slowly, I will unstitch that fat suit and let it slip away, revealing a healthy slim woman underneath. I'm getting there.

Oh, here are some photos of my gorgeous boy and I the day of my nephew's christening, last weekend. Face is looking a little slimmer than earlier photos.....